First Date:)Aww.......

Guys...first dates are miraculous..it's always sweet and some say that the way your first date goes is gonna define your relationship..makes you wanna ask the girl next door out doesn't it?wait till you read this joke I came across on the net.


We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance"! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Tonight Show ... she took the prize hands down ... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment - - - - This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off."

Haha...really hilarious wasn't it?Alright...all this kinda reminded me of my first dates.No..of course I didn't have pee on my date's ass to free her from the grasp of my evil car nor did I accidentally pushed her off the sidewalk into the embrace of an oncoming truck but just like the story above,I screwed all my first dates...BIG SCREWS...and all of them were really pissed one or another in the end...urmm...guys...don't take that too literally.

By the way,my latest major screw up was during prom I guess...I was actually late due to the stupid traffic and I made my date wait for 15 minutes....when I arrived...her face was darker than the box of chocalates I bought her.

Pictures will be up a minute:)woot

Weakling

A toast to the plethora of uncertainties that we mere man and woman,boys and gals encounter everyday,it really keeps you on your toes isn't it that we are totally aware of the fact that we're so unable to control things in our lifes.That we wouldn't know whether it's today or years later when we finally choke on Tau Fu Fas and finally meet our makers.Of course...TV programs wouldn't stop rubbing that into your subconsious ain't it?

I don't know about you guys but it really disturbs me profoundly everytime I watch a scene of mass massacres.It's gallant,glorious and you can't help admire the way Pitt's tummy didn't jiggle at all when he was seen running around butchering those poor helpless souls but that's it...blood splattered,corpses burned and that's it...it's just hard for me to ignore that...that lifes we hold so dearly can be so fragile and depreciated during moments adulterated with animosity and hatred.

I got to blogged about that after watching Grey's anatomy where the ER received a brain dead patient.That dude got admitted after a bike rammed into him.The biker was trying to avoid a bunch of X Gamers wannabe who just happened to be competing illegally in the midst of the heaviest traffic.

It seems fun and simple for those kids,unknowing that their fun is mainly built upon the pain of others and as we all know,extreme pain normally leads to death.Actually..if only we were to observe these accidents....you'll probably come across the conclusion that life and death works the way a less dramatic and gory Final Destination does.

Ah...by the way...during the process of producing this entry I took off to Asia Club for awhile...yes...I got thrashed on the foos tables again...really..the way I handle things on the foos table is really starting to embarass me...more so with a bunch of Taylorians hanging around.

Oh well...at least I could use the accuse of having a fever...actually...come to think of it...I really believe the fever brought me down...it did right?

Pics I just got from Boon...Camgigolo I am..

My man Boon at work!You guys should have seen him in action that night...photography at its best...I don't even know what does SLR stands for...

Xiao looking really hot in white here!haha...just realised...we totally matched!haha...Xiao modelled that night and she looked really demure in a Cheongsam...too bad I haven't got hold of that pic!

Lol...Jiale was presenting us with her best impersonation of a frustated monkey while Aaron stared on in fear of being attacked.Aitert tried to pose for the cam but too late...i'm such a sharp shooter...while Putra was simply too indulged in dinner.

Lol...Jean looking really sweet in a floral printed dress...Jean...I give you the U for ultimate nice!haha...

More pics!

My date for the night Wendy.She's smilling for the camera alright but what she really wanted was a chance to rip my heart out and grind it into molecules.

Alright...I wanna stress it again...she's not taller than I am.....
Taking a picture right after an Indian cuisine is not a great idea if you wanna shoot a commercial for Darlie's but screw it...I love this pic...we look don't we Jiale?haha

Pictures!

Lolx!I think this pic rockz...totally captured the moment:)Leon bought Fern a bouquet of white roses...ain't that sweet?awwwww

Praise The Lord

It was a typically hot and humid afternoon and there I was spending my Saturday afternoon banging loads of coloured balls in to table pockets at Asia Club and boy oh boy..ain't pool great?Pool is life!Just while I was cueing up for a potential game winning attempt at the elusive 9 ball...I could feel a certain vibration around my crotch but I stayed focused and didn't let the pleasure of it distract me from my inevitably glorious victory.By the time Leon replace the cue(I miss hit and the cue ball jumped right out of the table without hitting the solitary 9 ball),I missed the call already but thankfully Jiale called again and went"Ian do ya wanna attend the dinner?"

A chance to hang out with them and to see Wendy in a dress was too rare for me to pass it up and I reluctantly agreed(Thank God I did...Amen:D).The rest of the afternoon was spent pondering on what to wear and truthfully I was kinda pissed off by the organiser's decision to make it a semi formal event for the dress code is kinda vague and doesn't offer a us ticket holders much of a definition.Eventually I decided upon my faithful jeans and a white long sleeved shirt and I told my date that it would be cool if she could put on a dress(BIG mistake...haha).

So,it was 6:17 in the evening and I had to make a pit stop at Leon's to pick him up(he told Su Fern he hired me to be their chauffer...where's my dough then Leon?).Right before we embarked on our journey to pick up our respective dates for the dinner Leon insisted on buying Fern some flowers and we roamed through the whole of ss15 before we finally found a florist.He decided on three white roses laced with ferns and wrapped in purple satin like papers.Soon we made it too Fern's house and it was rather scary as her mom actually came out of the house to inspect a little...little did I know...it's just a preview of the greater horror that I was going to encounter.

Subsequently I arrived at the gold flaked black auto gates of Wendy's house and I took pride in the fact that I was precisely punctual.The sight of her granny wiped the smirk of my face pretty soon though.Her granny looks like any other typical Ah Mah with curly locks,spandex 3 quarter pants and a baggy green t-shirt.All those stereotypes were soon broken when she blew out clouds of smoke right through her nostrils and the way she stared at me scared the living hell out of me.Out of courtesy I stepped out of the car and mumbled through my greetings and asked for Wendy.She began to say something in mandarin which i totally do not comprehend and simply nodded to every word she said...haha...then I went back into my car and soon after Wendy's younger sis came out of the house and I noticed she kept her hair long.She looked immensely different from photos Wendy showed me last year and much to her joy she doesn't look like Francis anymore...haha.It was a shocking pink number and I almost went pink with shock.She looked really great in a pink dress which totally complimented her long slender figure.What a shame that the first few curses she screamed when she first saw me couldn't make it here...it was as colourful as her dress was..haha.Much to her dispair...everybody else in the car and me in particular were in jeans..looking very casual.Her greetings were soon conveyed in form of curses and hardcore body blows...I've got her handprints all over my black..I swear this is true.

The next 15 minutes were spent circling around ss 18 as she agonized over the choice available to her.Looking absolutely gorgeous and glamorous in that dress or simply rush home to have a change of clothes.Sadly,the latter was preffered:(

I gotta give props to my fellow juniours at SMK Subang Utama for making the half walled hall grand enough to host a banquet of this magnitude though the quality of the perfomances were at best abysmal...but Kevin rocked!haha...and basically it was more like a gathering of cam whores as most people were clicking and shooting away with their steely camera.Aitert had the nerves to pinch me around my waist and went "You're still so fat" during a photoshoot...HEY WHAT'S WRONG WITH A GUY WHO'S BUILT FOR COMFORT INSTEAD OF SPEED!..haha...oh well...it was good natured dig at my lifestyle I guess...appreciate it Tert..haha.

Approximately 2.5 hours later we left for Asia Club for foosball(Asia's fast becoming a sanctuary for me..away from the hustle and bustle of..urmm...my parents?ahaha)and I felt rather dry mouthed considering we spent most of our time during the dinner ogling at the beautifuls(Wendy has a perverse obsession toward beautiful ladies).Had a couple of games of foos and soon we joined Leon and Fern for pool...gosh...they really need a room..not a pool table..those two simply can't get enough of each others and yet they claim that they've broken up...and honestly...most of the time I don't get to see their hands..think both theirs embarked on a journey to Pleasureland it seems.

Things were comical as Leon and I watched the two ladies try their hand on pool and things were great until Wendy's parents called.Soon after,so did Fern's.Time to go home.

The dinner was yesterday but here I am suffering from inexplicable aching toes.Right,now I remember,I spent most of my time tip toe-ing around during the dinner.Wendy wore heels and she was taller...damn.

By the way,taking a detour from description of the night I would like to pay a thousand tributes to our almighty Lord for he healed Wendy's auntie.Wendy's auntie had a16cm tumour in her ovaries and it was suspected to be cancerous but thank God it's certified harmless and it has been removed for good.Amen!

Well,that's all I guess.To understate it,I had fun:)

Ultraman

I should have blow my brain right out of that ass of head for not studying whereas my finals are starting on Monday..instead I had the luxury of rewatching all the ultraman episodes I recorded while I was younger(video tapes...had to dig out the old VCR player in the store room just to do so) and I wonder if it's me or that ultraman's really cool?

After all this years...I still find it hot!Ultraman rocks!in fact I can't imagine a childhood without my ultraman models!I had a complete collection of them except for the one with the horns(that's the Father of all ultramen if i'm not mistaken) and ultraman 8....what a pity that my mom gave the whole set away to my cousin who totally doesn't appreciate these babes!(he ditched them for Powerpuff Girls after a couple of months)ungrateful slimy moron....burn in the fury of Ultrafans!

By the way,just one question...why do Ultraman enjoy struggling and having pillow fights(with concrete buildings as their primary weapon)with those cute looking monsters before he eliminates them with a single laser shot(arrr....the famed L shaped posture that gained worldwide admiration)?can't he just finish it off at the very beginning instead of having that nipple in the of his chest glow with red lights of alarm?geez....

Who cares...I love you Ultraman...you brought joy to my life,you instilled colour to my life,and if it wasn't for you...I would have thought Sailormoon is cute...

Memories

Memories I wish I could immortalize....
Flowers wither eventually,but we're holding one that blooms forever.....
Miss you guys...more so...miss the moments we had...God bless this emo clan

Photographs

Recently I've made a habit of shielding my wallet from the public's admiration for its beauty found no match and boundary thus such beauty often flirts with danger(muahaha...it's just a brown Billabong actually..sorry for the drama).Zhong Zheng even sarcastically claimed that I'm being very snobbish now but the truth is I believe a certain level of privacy is still needed even among your closest pal,family or even your spouse.

What I really have in my wallets are photos of ex flames...haha...yeah...so now you know guys but I still have reservations about showing it for I don't think i'm suppose to out of respect to those lovely ladies in the photos.haha...anyone who actually bothered to chat with me would know that I'm more than willing to talk about my past relationships more often than not.Haha..they assume that i'm really thick skinned and love to boast about my heroics(heroics?my gosh..mostly i'm portrayed as the villain that ruined those relationships).Well personally I thought that there's nothing to be ashamed of considering that it was part of your growth,from every failed attempt you gain something in return,a new perspective,a deeper understanding and probably a wiser mind so I never bothered concealing the past even if most times it hurts like a dagger through tofus(huh?that came so naturally that me myself i dun quite understand it).

I've met friends who've never bothered to share about their past saying that they wouldn't wanna reenact the pain they endured back then but you'll never know...scars might be the best remedy for your fresh wounds.So guys and gals infact...forgetting is not always the best way to overcome things...the pain ain't really that bad if you would just take it in your face and throw a shit load of courage towards it...haha...

Basically,that was just a few hundred characters of bullshit from a 18 year old who just had 3.5 cans of Carlsberg with lunch.

Trivial little stuffs about Ian

I was browsing through the internet aimlessly again and I stumbled upon the ever lovely Su Lynn's blog!whee...so miss spending time with you all at school Su and I totally love the poem you had there in your blog.It's so heartfelt and so blatantly true that I almost believe someone was falling for my smile*performs an impression of Jack the Ripper*.Haha...by the way...I don't agree with them...you're not short at all!totally think your height is ok(not a tinge of sarcasm here) and if you're a midget...you're a real nice one!haha...


Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ian!
1.99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Ian!
2.Ian once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
3.Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Ian.
4.During severe windstorms, Ian may sway several feet to either side!
5.The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than Ian, and 400 times smaller.
6.The risk of being struck by Ian is one occurence every 9,300 years!
7.Ian can smell some things up to six miles away!
8.Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Ian!
9.Lightning strikes Ian over seven times every hour!
10.If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Ian.

Oh what a bummer,the trivia states that i'll only strike someone every 9,300 years and yet i'll be struck 7 times every hour!That means I can only make someone fall for me every 9 milennium but i'll fall in love 7 times an hour!O cruel fate, thy has wedged thee's fatal axe again!
Haha...one thing for sure though..you'll need a hell of a windstorm to blow me off my feet..I'm a heavyweight.Oh well...guess i'll just mutilate myself and let the snakeheads fight over what's left of me...

Turn Me On

I can't bear losing you anymore my dearest computer though you're all hangy and slow and cold and lousy but please don't turn your back on me like that anymore.

My weekend was spent eating,sleeping and basically roaming around aimlessly for I simply couldn't turn my computer on!(damn...if I can't do it to girls at least let me have the consolation of being able to turn on my comp!)sobz...and thus I wandered miserably,broken by a thousand arrows of sorrow,crippled by boulders of hollowness.....

Oh well...thank God I had a free serving of Baskin Robbin's double cone last Friday and the bliss supplied by the sensational burst of taste of sweetness eased the pain.The fact that it was totally free somewhat enhanced the texture and the my taste bud had an orgasm that day.It was ALMOST as good as Haagen Dazs and that is a serious compliment.

So what's my secret to a free BK double cone?Here are the following ingredients
1.A friend who doubts that you have balls
2.A friend who could afford a BK double cone as a price for a dare
3.A whole lot of wassabi and alot of soy sauce and some green tea and some egg yolk
4.A chopstick to stir those things together.
5.A ice cream desperado who would gulp it down.

Voila!Please dare me again!anyone!please...In serious need of fats and sugar Love Potion provides!

A threat too many

This is a public declaration(though I doubt anyone would actually be reading this)of hatred to those so called FRIENDS of mine who would JOKINGLY threaten me and make me beg them for a favour. I might be laughing it off but trust me when I say I despise people who does that to me and I shall take it no longer.I haven't been using much words of obscenities for the year and don't ever force me to use it on ya.You may think it's funny but I do not think of it that way.I'm not a goodie two shoe kinda person and I will actually land punches on ya,regardless of your gender.

10 Reasons Why I Love 10 Things I Hate About You

1.For once the best looking guy's the jackass who got kicked right up his impotent balls(for you decent minded peeps out there,balls here refers to the testicles which can be found on a male sexual organ and is often lop-sided)

2. The lead's played by Heath Ledger which I find totally hot and awesome(I'm by no means gay,you need to be really comfortable sexuality to be so vocal about your admiration for a person of the same gender)You'll be equally impressed by his performance in Brokeback Mountain(not for the faint hearted).

3. I'm so in lust with Julia Stiles,there's this sexiness in her that's really rare in Hollywood...she's the one that could still get you aroused in a pitch black room without touching you.Wow...you don't need big boobs and a G string to be sexy after all...Pammy...learn something will ya?

4. They made Shakspeare cooler than ever.Just imagine a black lecturer rapping to these lyrics Thy eternal summer shall not fade.

5. I find myself amusingly similar to the female lead,I tend to be edgy,I'm not popular,I love reading(not academically inclined stuff though) and I'm utterly oblivious about what people perceive of me.Only difference is I'll never have a hot blonde gal singing I LOVE YOU BABY!! to me while i'm playing football.

6. This is probably my second favourite movie right after Shakspeare In Love and trust me peeps.They're bound to be reasons why this chick flick is placed the among shrines of romantic comedies.Warning though,it's strictly for rom-com lovers.Jet Li and Jackie Chan lovers,you'll probably enjoy your overcooked Maggie Mee better.

7. Someone I unknowingly care deeply for loves this movie lots.At least I'll have some clues for her birthday gifts.

8. It's a fairy tale.As much as we wanna be cool and profess that we absolutely loathe typical fairy tale endings but nothing makes the heart go all fuzzy like a film ending smooching scene.

9. The title is absolutely cool ain't it?

10. In a hormone driven teenage tv world,where else can you see poetry recitation in a rom-com?The poem recited was a great one and would be one to be remembered for.Kids nowadays really need to appreciate literature more...

The bitterments of a declining hairline

Lately, my lame excuse of a hairdo's been under the scrutiny of friends and family alike.It's fading...someday...the shore might be flooded by a sea of baldness...the family history definitely doesn't favour might perpetual struggle to at least look decent with hair atop my air-head.My hair's curly and dry...messy at best and burnt forest at worst.Sighs...

Oh well...it's been an eventful Sunday I guess...went to Ah Koon's for some fishball noodles(real pathetic really but somehow my parents are rather hooked to the greasy "clear" soup served).Then we headed home for a lil cuppa and headed straight to Mid Valley cause my father insisted of having his haircut at one of the express salon there(I wonder if they have anything to do with the fact that the stylist there are real cute and they wear cleavage showing uniforms?).

Hence my Sunday was spent walking around aimlessly at Mid Valley,being the decent son I've always been(God spare me for this atrocious lie),I decided to leave my parents alone.As we grow up,I think we tend to realise that how much time our parents pumped in for us and how much time they've to spend with each other.It kinda makes you ponder about the life the way you wanna live your life,whether you wanna make a horse out of yourself and be a slave to the materials or do you wanna live a life filled with intangible bliss and joy.I guess I've already made my choice...which is why I think I should never marry someone and start a family.There's the likelyhood that I might not earn enough to support one.This is the thing when you turn 18,you realise that every single thing that you do actually does affect others,whether you realise it or not.I know I'm sounding horribly old here and too philosphical here but just pay a lil more attention to what you do and it'll be cleared up right upon your naked eyes.

Emo is my middle name and I can't help it.

An ended hiatus to my blogging I hope this would be but we'll see as inspirations for words come sporadically for me these days.This is my first blog entry in weeks and sorry if the writing seems a lil dull and monotonous, I've got some serious rusts to shake off here.

Since my last entry I've moved on to a rather challenging new life...leaving the comfort of high school(yup peeps..high school is really great even with a baddie like Asmahan in it...come to think of it...I miss sleeping right under her nose in bio class dearly...there's a kind of thrill and adrenaline that I've yet to encounter elsewhere).Juniors of mine that are still having the time of their life there in Subang Utama...work hard play hard...it's just too valuable a year to spend 24 hours munching on add math and bio(great advice if you wanna flunk SPM the way I did).

For you ignorant people that haven't bother to keep in touch with me and doesn't know that I'm currently wasting my life fooling around in Utar,I'm doing my foundation in arts there and gonna be majoring in Mass Com Public Relations(sorry for that offensive comment,kinda emo now).Yes peeps I'm sure some of you guys would have probably heard things like Don't waste your time on mass com or you'll have a better chance screwing Tyra Banks.Darn...I'm so sick and tired of getting comments like this..you think I dunno that it'll be hard?dod gamn it..I'm so gonna stick to it because it's the only course I might have an outside chance of passing!

The year's been rough so far,wonder if it's genuinely horrendous or that it simply failed to live up to 2005.A monumental year it was for me...2005 was probably the best ever...I was a late bloomer I guess...first serious relationship...first kiss(oops...mom..if you're reading this i'm still a virgin and I didn't get anyone pregnant)flooded with memories that'll probably last a lifetime.It's rather sad as the detachment from that blissful life occurs right upon me and I have yet to find something to numb the pain(again guys..sorry for the emo drama).It's already April and I still feel the sense of insecurities and lack of motivation the end of SPM brought.

It's such a cliche that for every worst case scenario we mere mortals would find excuses to numb ourselves off the pain and mine came in the form of a least expected vote of faith from my parents.They've actually supported my decision to study mass com,they don't nag at me anymore when I go out for pool with frens till midnight and my mom actually said this to me the other day,You had a gf while I strichtly forbidden you to do so but when I finally wouldn't scream at you for having one,you failed to find one.haha...that remains as one of the best stuff I've heard in years.

Alrite peeps...before I sign off I wanna apologise to my dear readers(I doubt the S is needed...how many of you actually keeps up with my craps?) for being oblivious of this site's feature to display pictures.If a picture says a thousand words...I would gladly write the words.Last but not least,for the lack of decorative designs and my dull topics.