Torn

My mom had a wardrobe clear-out today and she came across this torn Shin-Chan t-shirt I've been wearing since I'm like 10?(to clear the air,I was a severely obese kid back then I can still wear some of the clothes I had then)7 years of warmth and security has been provided without fail whether it's meant to shield me from the claws of those sore losers in the basketball court or the stinky paints that refused to be stilled yet my mom couldn't care less and dumped it straight into the pathethic little green bucket that has been serving as my household's rubbish bin for the past month.Luckily,I was alert enough to notice the dissapearance of my all time favourite tee and yes people,I picked it up from the dumps.

Yes,the shirt is in torrid conditions and wearing it doesn't seem like a sane choice but as time eloped tirelessly the more I feel like I need to cling on to this memoribilia that has proven itself to be the shirt of my life,that the sweet memories that it provided is as vivid as ever.Maybe it lacked the warmth and sense of security that I crave for so much as it's torn,that my friends been cajoling me endlessly(Thanks KL,Yuj,Wendy,Mindy,Sharon and Kaya Pau for all the love and care I've received,I wouldn't trade the world for another bunch of classmates) to ditch it as it had caused enormous discomfortness and sometimes,sickness.

Yeah people,I'm gonna be totally honest about the fact that I actually seriously considered the option,that maybe my classmates were right,letting go might the only way for me to keep it.At the end of the day though,it was a knockout decision.

There's nothing in the world that would stop me from loving it and I'll hold on to it with all my might and endurance to make sure it last as long as possible,maybe...forever.The only chance I'll let it go will be the day the tee found a better owner and someone who will mend the tears I inflicted upon.

I've kept Shin-Chan and I know...I'll rather have bad times with it than to have great times with others.Anyway,I came across this song which I could relate profoundly to on this matter.I'm sure if I did let the tee go without a fight,I'm gonna feel exactly the way the lyrics suggested...I'll end this entry with an excerpt of the lyrics...something that will make you think twice before you ever consider leaving something that means so much to your heart and soul.

What If-Kate Winslet
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
Coz I still love you more than I could say
If I'd stay,if you tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
We'll never know

Tragic Comedy?

There's this local band named Tragic Comedy that's been having a healthy run on Hitz TV lately...well...for quite awhile ad actually.I tot it's hyper cool...Tragic Comedy...isn't that how's life suppose to be defined?Sure...tragedies strike every now and then but in the end don't we just sit back and laugh at it?whether it's from your Ikea sofa or the Lord's land of glory...yes we do.So people...everytime you fall...just pick yourself up and shed a tear or two if you think it's necessary to ease the pain but that's it.Get on with life.

Haha...alrites ppl...just came back from watching War of The World and i'm desperately searching for anegelsic cream now...sitting right in front of the silver screen for two straight hours have this effect on shorties like me.The movie was pretty much a joy ride but the ending was..errrmmm...let's just say that I'm not the biggest fan of Spielberg and this movie did nothing to change that.Conclusively..the movie was pretty much like a joyride on a Triple-looped roller coaster up until the end which strongly resembles a merry-go-round.

Hey people...I'm not too sure about you guys but are your ambitions driven by money?Lately...I came across a very thought provoking drawing of mine when I was 9.The image of my art teacher back then was a vivid as ever...she was one of the best teacher I ever had...they were the best classmates I'll ever have alongside my current bunch of classmates...I'll miss them as we finally depart school and continue to trod the path that God planned upon.

The drawing was simply tittled "My Ambition".I wouldn't actually call it art..haha...hell knows I was born with zero artistic talent(I'm horrible at maths which means i'm suppose to be good at stuff like arts but I guess both sides of my brain are equally dysfunctional).The scribbling on that piece of A4 was horrendous yet I couldn't be anymore proud of it.It was me in a police uniform.

People...think about it...how well can you remember the days where your ambitions were based solely upon your passion,your conscience who yells emphatically at chances to offer help?You can't don't you?I'm proud as the drawing was very heartfelt and sincere...It was me...the purest of me...Me myself and I that wasn't infested with the greed the Devils clot our world with...The Ian that was driven by his passion for life.The Ian that thought of nothing but to spend everyday with his friends and families in a heaven of his own...

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided,and that is the lamp of experience.
I know no way of judging the future but by the past

The Sevenly Deadly Virtues?

Reading through Chuin Howe's poem-Paradox of The Seven Deadly Sins.Really great writer he is..really look up to him.Here's the first step I took as a way to emulate him...hahaha

The naughty kinda virtue
-Angelina Jolie=For the way she pouts her bee stung lips on screen

The seductive kinda virtue
-Almond Cadburry=For the way it makes me wanna get my fingers on it so desperately

The lingering kinda virtue
-Durian=For the way the smell of it still lingers around my room

The horny kinda virtue
-The Cactus=For the way it reminds me that my mom has a fetish for gardening

The dishonest kinda virtue
-The Star=For the way those horoscopes reading made me believe I'm smart

The obnoxious kinda virtue
-My voice=For the way it annoys the hell out of everyone when I sing

The lonesome kinda virtue
-My Dad's Flower Horn=For the way it lived alone and eventually,died a lonesome death

My frens always told me that I'm lame...after reading what I just wrote...I truly believe them.

Ian The Hul(really wished I'm Good looking enough to put a "N" instead)k

I'm staring into the computer screen of my and for quite a handful of times,I had to surpress the urge to scream my head off.Terrified by this green devil(no horns and pitchfork,just an acne prone face)that adorns the suit of immense green,matching his facial complexion perfectly...well...cut the drama here.It's me with my face splattered with some tea tree oil facial mask from Bodyshop(People,before you get the wrong idea...I'm not gay!I'm not even metrosexual).

Yes people...I very unwillingly applied it on my pimple plantation zone(Linda's brother once called me that a couple of years ago) as my mom was nagging me day & night to do,she even threatened to ban me from eating chocs and durians!Arrrggghh...come on mom....when will it ever finally come to your senses?that I don't need to look handsome to be happy!I can live with those pimples(Xin Lyn once told me that my face will look empty without those pimples...haha...cute girl she really was)!

"Chocs are really fattening for people like you yea know!"My sis always say that when she happened to see me chomping down a mini bar of Cadbury(Apparently my sis is blessed with metabolism that stands shoulders to shoulders with the likes of the Eiffel Tower).What the heck!?so what?

I really wondered how did all those Kate Moss-ly thin people keep their weight checked when they are fully aware that a half finished Mars bar lies in their fridge?Vanity?The urge to be accepted?peer pressure?

Whatever it is people,excuse me as I finally succumbed to the allure of Sneakers.

Gone

I would love to dedicate this poem to my new found best pal and confidant-Eric Ong.In loving memories of a love that he came upon and missed out on and yet survived to rue agonizingly over it(nothing malicious here Eric,I hope this would help you get over it sincerely).

And for the Marilyn Manson of 5Zeta-Freak people might claim you to be but you do earn my respect by staying true to yourself and quite frankly I never expected a guy like you had actually ponder upon the chances of abtaining love and I really appreciated the rundown of my hopes and fears that you gave the other day.Far fetched as it might sound(mind reading),it was nonetheless very profound and thought provoking.I hope you'll get to meet Nathalie again and maybe,rekindle the fire you once had for each other.

Finally,just to clear the air...my previous blog entry was written on a neutralized perspective...thanks for your concerns friend but I wasn't making any personal references there(it was written down during Sejarah,spur of the moment kinda thing..Azizah makes me sleep faster than Harry Potter..haha...oops...Harry Potter fan?hahahaha)

Jealous at guys you peep,
Worried when my phone doesn't beep,
Feelings I used to face so loathesomely,
Yet here I am missing it so desperately.

Cocooning myself in webs of forced laughters,
Hoping it will bind my broke wings,
Evaluating priorities that really matters,
Hoping that my fragile soul would be sparred from the swing.

Our love was red hot when it fizzled,
Ice blue when it surrended to time and fizzled,
Maybe we lacked the essential chemistries,
Or maybe the core of our love was fictional.

You're gone,
Never will be back,
Maybe letting go was the only was to keep you.

*author's note:haha...i loved the first stanza!so funnily cheesy!hahaha...it was meant to be that way..hoping that it'll annoy you so that you people would stop reading right after that..if you're reading this...it definitely didn't work.Yu Jin!c'mon...let's work on some even cheesier lines!

Sick and Tired

How does it feel like when you started something with someone,everything seemed perfect at the beginning when both were trying hard to keep things going,to just keep that fire burning at all cost and savoured the fire that flourished from the fuel of their efforts?

How does it feel like to be abandoned midway through the race,that she would stop fuelling everything that you worked so hard to get it started?

How does it feel like when things get so cold and you needed to feel her warmth again,only to be greeted by her hands that actually formed the pristine snows that continues to colonize this blizzard of your soul?

How does it feel like to face the cliched situation when you just somehow needed someone to talk to,to pour your heart out,only to be found sitting on your bed staring at your pathethic Nokia for the past hours waiting for her to reply?

I'm through ushering this chariot alone,
I'm sick and tired.