Mr Match

I had an ultra-sized bowl of porridge for dinner and I was quite literally stuffed after dinner.What better way to aide indigestion and burn some calories(even if it's only a tiny bitsy portion of it)than a walk around my neighbourhood?

"Better don't lah Ah Boy,it's the Hungry Ghost Festival!"my mom yelled across the living room in Mandarin.Yet,I walked straight out the house with an all conquering nonchalance as I know I've been blessed with an impenetrable shield again all evils-God's Almighty Love.Praise God for the assurance and sense of security!

Castellations of start shone brightly across the moonlit sky as I was strolling around a park near my house.This is when I received the best news I had in weeks via a sms.For weeks I've been trying to convince this gal whom my friend would really fancy her to be his prom date(The gal hesitated because she wasn't sure about some minor details and difficulties)to accept my beloved pal's invitation.Tonight,she finally dropped the bomb!I've got a date for my pal!I went berserk and started yelling while I kept pumping my fist.All this in the middle of the night and a very very creepily deserted park....ahaha...I'm all nuts.

I was totally drenced in an unspoken satisfaction.It is during these moments that I realised that probably the greatest joy of all lies not in love itself but creating the possibilities for love to grow.I'm gonna be attending prom dateless but if all things turn out as planned,I couldn't be happier:D

Serendepity

To my friends and fellow writers,I would love to take this opportunity to here to clarify that as a writer,I have been obscenely overrated and received accolades I totally do not deserve.The fact that most of the people who read my literary products totally failed to comprehend the message that I was trying to convey is a major testimony to my claim.A writer's primary goal is to convey his/her message and etch them unto the reader's mind.Sad to say that I have yet to come up with such a masterpiece(but I know someday I will*Ian saying this while standing on a cliff,clenching his fist with his hair blown messily by the wind*hahaha...total self syokness:D).Secondly,to those that I've been trying to brainwash with my schmaltzy poems should realise that other than sickly romantic stuffs,I've yet to produce anything else!Last but no least,my inability to conjure something out of nothing portrays a monumental block on my writing ambitions.I had never written anything decent during exams and with SPM just a couple of months away,I sure hope I will eventually.Hahaha

Serendepity.Beautiful word ain't it?Well,it happened to be the title of a movie I watched this afternoon.The VCD has been stored in my drawer for as long as I could remember and I never actually bothered to watch it,thinking it was just another cliched hollywood chick flick,something that makes you go "Awww...." the morning after and "Ooops what's the story like again" a week later.Boy was I totally wrong.Yes,the leading characters are stereotypically beautiful people and yes,it is heart-wrenchingly romantic.Basically,the story's about two strangers who happened to bump into each other while shopping for Christmas and ended up spending a few blissful hours together.At the end of the night though,they decided to let fate take it's course and gone on their own separate ways.The guy wrote his name on a cash note and let the lady spends it while the lady wrote her name on a book and sells it to a secondhand bookstore,both deciding if they're meant to be they'll find the items again.

Alongside,the likes of King Arthur,Shakspeare in Love,Kate&Leopold and Something's Gotta Give,this movie is climbing up the charts of my all time favourites.I'll gladly lend this to anyone's who's interested,just let me know peeps.By the way people,serendepity actually means a fortunate accident.Fortunate accidents?haha...it's like students saying "Exam Rockzz!".

Teh Ais&Curry Puff

Finally!After months of apprenticeship of my mom's mediocre driving techniques I'm finally allowed to drive to tuition!Amen!Well,had to drive to ss 19 for Mandarin lesson at Guo Yi's place and it was kinda scary for me considering that it was my first solo drive out of my housing area(I've never considered myself to be a talented driver and those reckless aunties doesn't make it any easier).haha...anyways I relished the new found sense of idependency I craved for all my life.

Tuition was a torrid affair as only the three of us turned out(out of the usual 7) and we struggled through the two hours.Haha...two hours and we only managed to "translate"two tradisional chinese poems!I've really got zero comprehension of Chinese literature as my command of the language is poorer than ever.Heck,I'm still trying to convince myself I signed up for that subject!I've been flushed with comments that went like"hey,China is taking over the world economy!have to learn wan!","Can read not enough,have to be fluent!".What the heck,the day China rises to the higher echelons of the world's economy would be the day I have six packs.

We had fun though nearing the end when I made a startling discovery on my way to the gents.I found a chinese chess set!haha...i played a couple of sets with Francis and Reuben and lost them all!I'm always been a noob when it comes to board game and it was much vindicated when by those suicide moves I made.Sometimes I really wish that I could be just a tad bit brighter.

I put my blessed freedom to good use when I offered to drive for a cuppa before sending him home.As usual I ordered Teh Ais and ridiculed myself by ordering the same curry puff I always had there.Darn Ian,you need to make changes to your life and maybe you should start with your darn food selection!

Invasion of The Masked

It's been a week since I've ventured into my newfound bachelorhood and to be honest people,I'm not feeling any better but then again I truly understand that whatever I have to say or do is not going change a single thing.That's why I wanna take this opportunity to hail whoever that created the blog.For it is in this blog that I'm allowed to fully express how I truly feel and awkward moments of live conversations would be gratefully abandoned here.

I've been talking to alot of people lately(wanna thank my friends here for their unconditional support and for being so patient amidst my rantings) and they've been giving me some really sound advice which I've been trying best to apply onto my misery.Would I still be here ranting about it if all those worked?

Try as I might I simply couldn't eradicate traces of her out of my life.I think of her when I drive coz I promised to drive her around,I think of her when that stupid voice of Serena C said that she's gonna play some whimpy Simple Plan song coz those are her favourites,I think of her when I read coz it was how I came to know her,a shared zest for good reads.How do you ignore the void that someone that used to matter the world to you left behind?How do you spend those bits of moments on the way to tuition you once spend smsing her?They say time heals,it's all bollocks.Maybe time really heals,but it works so slowly that you wonder whether it's worth it?whether The Devil is manipulating the wheel of time to enlongate your sufferings?

I have no idea what love is or how does it works but here's a little excerpt from the Bibble on love."Love never fails.But where there are prophecies,they will cease;where there are tongues,they will be stilled;where there is knowledge,it will pass away."I guess we're just not meant to be...no matter how much I love her,how much I try to make it happen.

I've been talking to God more than ever lately and true to say I've found comfort in His presence.The pain is still there but it's eased everytime I pray,only to wake up the next morning feeling exactly the way things felt a week ago.God,I wanna thank You so much for my friends Lord.Without their support and tissues Lord,I wouldn't have stay surfaced.I'm actually much better these days,more so after spilling my guts out in this entry.Really,I wanna thank my friends again(Jiale,Steph,Yujin,Wendy,Liteng and Josh in particular),for the advices and shoulders I need to cushion my fall.

The haze has been really bad horrible and it has cut off my major supply of endorphin-Exercise.I really hope that God'll lift Malaysia off this saturation of haze so that our daily routine could be resumed.Meanwhile people,get your mask readied.I've got my on and pardon me for thinking that I really look like a doctor(I'm wearing those that docs usually wear when they're practicing).

Gone For Good

She finally pulled the plug.Oh how stupid was I to think that I'll be able to change things by letting her know that I still love her more than I could ever say.I only managed to frustrate her and made her say that I was her worst boyfriend ever...haha...yeah...I've always have the knack of screwing up my relationship and this is not exception.I've screwed up badly.

I'm not going to deny that I want her back badly but then again I know I'll only end up losing her again.She once told me I'm a really horrible kisser...haha...maybe next time when I'm about to date someone again..I should really warn her about it first.I'm really sorry Tert for being such a whimp,you're right,I'm one of the worst boyfriend one could ever have.

I've spent the past months wondering how life would be when I finally leave school.The prospect of not seeing her everyday,maybe I could fetch her home everyday,maybe I could fetch her to tuitions...that maybe I'll still get to see her everyday.Haha...at least I don't have to worry about that now...I'm feeling really miserable now with the flu that I'm having.once she told me that she wanted the break up,I could feel the void of loneliness inside of me that haunted me so badly years ago.

A couple of days more and it could have been our sixth month annivesary.I actually bought her a gift for it...damn...what am I gonna do with it.Oh well...Joshua was right.When things between me and her were all so merry a few months ago,Joshua and Liteng talked to me about dating a unbeliever.I know it was a sin to disobey God's word but I really couldn't bring myself to let go of her,especially when things were going so well back then.They were right,God's not gonna punish me for it but eventually God's word will be vindicated and this relationship wouldn't last long.

I'm really shattered by it and maybe my parents were right after all...I'm still too young to be in love.Now I know it wasn't the loving aspect that I can't handle as I would give in my all everytime I fall in love,it was the pain of separation that I'll never be able to handle.It hurts real badly...I'm really at a lost here...as deperate as I sound here,I know she's gone for good and no matter how I feel or what I do,nothing will bring her back to me.

Maybe I'll love again,maybe I'll be loved again but one thing's for sure.Whenever I love again,I'll be wiser and not put in too much hope and emotions into it.I was too emotionally involved with her,that's why it hurts and I promise myself I'll never let myself feel this way again.Ever.